"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/12/2018 at 10:50 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/12/2018 at 10:50 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 19
| 12 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! People want to come up and they want to tell me that smoking crack cocaine is better than sensi.
1 st Wipe : Ford scrambling to meet demand for full-size SUVs like Expedition and Navigator. Due to high employee turnover and early union retirement, only six people in the company still remember when this happened before. Two of them are janitors Product Development Executives.
2 nd Wipe : Porsche doubling investment in EVs. If the 911 ever stops threatening to kill you with snap oversteer, they’ll add a random electrocution feature just to keep it interesting.
3 rd Wipe : Thanks to Brexit, the UK will no longer be allowed to approve cars for European safety and environment regulators. Caterham Sevens with open headers for everyone!
4 th Wipe : China’s ridesharing service-and-not-pornstar-name Didi Chuxing has been testing autonomous cars on public roads for months. How did they expect to keep this a secret in China when they were doing things like following traffic laws and not running over pedestrians?
5 th Wipe : Waymo has great technology, but no idea how to make money. Former executives from Webvan and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! more than happy to offer them a consulting contract.
Flush : In 2008, GM started offering buyouts to workers after record losses, ushering in the carpocalypse and government bailout. This was the best/worst thing Bush/Obama ever did and saved/destroyed tens of thousands of jobs and was a great/horrible use of taxpayer money that should never/probably happen again.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 10:54 |
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Well done on Flush
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 10:56 |
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3rd wipe, I see no issues with this.
Party-vi
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 10:57 |
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Anyone looking at the Big Three products before and after bailout can see the progress made.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> Party-vi
02/12/2018 at 11:05 |
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I think the fact that during the crisis they finally started doing more cherry picking of world platforms was the turning point. Remember when Saturn was basically 100% Opel? A little late to save the company, but good idea.
It was bound the happen, the crisis just forced it.
Future next gen S2000 owner
> Party-vi
02/12/2018 at 11:05 |
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Until there is a Corvette sitting in everyone’s driveway, I’m going to complain socialism and gov’t intervention, and free market fundamentals and all that other stuff.
WilliamsSW
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 11:07 |
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The Flush is just gold right there.
MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 11:13 |
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1st Wipe: Does this mean we are getting a new Excursion?
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Ash78, voting early and often
> MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
02/12/2018 at 11:16 |
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EXTRADITION.
So big, you’ll need the help of multiple nations to find your kids in the ninth row of seats.
For Sweden
> Party-vi
02/12/2018 at 11:17 |
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So the problem is not government-owned car makers?
Wow British Leyland what’s your excuse then?
Spanfeller is a twat
> MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
02/12/2018 at 18:02 |
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I think SUVs follow the Laffer curve:
Too big, no sales
Just in the middle, a lot of sales
Too small, no sales
Just don’t let republicans start designing cars, or else the next SUV is going to be the size of a Smart car!
aquila121
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/12/2018 at 18:56 |
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I’d like to say I’ve really enjoyed this segment as of late. The Morning Shift on the frontpage has been pretty consistent about being difficult about loading on my phone. Now that I see these summaries are hilarious, it’s now the main draw for me. Thanks!
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Ash78, voting early and often
> aquila121
02/12/2018 at 18:59 |
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LOL, thanks. Kinja works so poorly on my work PC, I gauge everything (and post it all) based on a mobile layout. Thanks for the kind words. It lets me share my sarcastic thoughts without burying them in some FP commentary.